{ stelle, unfortunately, does not get a full view of him. by now guizhong has left, but he looks a state and stelle does not need to see that. so the camera is angled down to only reach his mouth. she'll see he isn't in anything stylish, set for being at home for however long he needs.
more importantly though, there's a moon coin in his hand, dancing across the back of his fingers back and forth. }
I'm a little hurt you didn't trust me to give you an honest answer, but that's probably only fair. Normal rules apply, no tricks, it's just a regular moon coin. { the words come out fast, trying to keep the momentum so stelle doesn't linger on any of that. }
See?
{ he holds up both sides to the camera then passes it hand to hand. }
Ready?
{ as long as she nods or says yes he'll flip the coin up in the air. he slaps it down onto his wrist without looking. keeping up the speed means it's hard for his hands to shake because he is nervous about this. he has no idea if she'll never want to speak to him again if she does see the contents but... he's leaving it up to fate. and her, apparently.
he lifts his hand, showing off the coin underneath. }
{ the angle of the camera doesn't change, but he does sigh out. }
No point in hiding it if you'll see anyway.
{ he's bitter at the coin, not her, especially since he's the one that suggested this anyway. still. }
I'm not sure what state Firefly was found in, but I imagine she wasn't as protected as she could have been. That's because she'd changed back to help me through a moment. My file has a lot more in it than everyone else's, when I used retrocognition on it... I was hit with something that decided hitting me with all my worst memories was its idea of a good time. I can't claim to know everything what other people have been through to give a comparison, { a shrug } it just is what it is.
{ his smile grows a bit complicated now, twitches at the edges like he's struggling to hold it in place. his voice isn't as confident either. }
It's a gamble, giving you access to something like that, but I'm hoping it's something that pays off.
[ Stelle's quiet for a good few moments, not answering immediately. It's only when she speaks up again that it's with a bit more seriousness than usual: ]
I've seen other people's memories before. [ She won't say whose, but she'll offer that up as an earnest thing. ] And getting the Dragon-blessed abilities kind of deals with some similar stuff, too.
[ Memories and the dealing with the truth is unfortunately pretty common in Ellipsa, she's found. And also home, too. ]
... It's not a gamble. Whatever I see is the 'past', after all. What matters more is the present. And the future.
{ since they're still talking about this, he'll start moving that coin back and forth across his hand, giving himself something to do with it. }
And what if not all of it is necessarily in the past? I still work for the IPC, Miss Stellaron. Whenever I return home, the jobs you see I've done as part of that file won't necessary be that different to what I'll have to do in the future. { there's a small laugh that follows this, almost like a hum. } But maybe, with the rest of what you see, it'll all. make. sense. You're a smart girl, I'm sure you can join the dots together.
{ a beat, then: } Not that'll change anything knowing that.
{ the coin doesn't drop, but it does stop before he curls his hand to catch it.
it helps that she'll only be reading about it, at least, won't see it as a memory. and most of the time for more recent memories it'll most likely depict him putting his life on the line for the ipc than anything else. russian roulette, electric chairs... you know the drill.
but. }
Mmm. Then I'll do my best to not disappoint you... at least with what I can do while my hands are tied.
{ obviously it isn't literal. but when stelle actually reads through the file and sees he would have been sent to the gallows until he made that 'bet' with jade, maybe it'll make a lot more sense as to what he means when he says this now. }
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
-> video | doing this before i forget i already rolled sdkgj
more importantly though, there's a moon coin in his hand, dancing across the back of his fingers back and forth. }
I'm a little hurt you didn't trust me to give you an honest answer, but that's probably only fair. Normal rules apply, no tricks, it's just a regular moon coin. { the words come out fast, trying to keep the momentum so stelle doesn't linger on any of that. }
See?
{ he holds up both sides to the camera then passes it hand to hand. }
Ready?
{ as long as she nods or says yes he'll flip the coin up in the air. he slaps it down onto his wrist without looking. keeping up the speed means it's hard for his hands to shake because he is nervous about this. he has no idea if she'll never want to speak to him again if she does see the contents but... he's leaving it up to fate. and her, apparently.
he lifts his hand, showing off the coin underneath. }
Heads. ...It's your choice, then.
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[ Stelle, please... ]
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I'm not sure 'good' is the term I'd use... But once you've read it, I'll want it back. I doubt it's something you'd want as a bedtime story anyway.
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[ Stelle asks curiously. ]
Of course I wasn't planning on keeping it; it is your file, after all.
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No point in hiding it if you'll see anyway.
{ he's bitter at the coin, not her, especially since he's the one that suggested this anyway. still. }
I'm not sure what state Firefly was found in, but I imagine she wasn't as protected as she could have been. That's because she'd changed back to help me through a moment. My file has a lot more in it than everyone else's, when I used retrocognition on it... I was hit with something that decided hitting me with all my worst memories was its idea of a good time. I can't claim to know everything what other people have been through to give a comparison, { a shrug } it just is what it is.
{ his smile grows a bit complicated now, twitches at the edges like he's struggling to hold it in place. his voice isn't as confident either. }
It's a gamble, giving you access to something like that, but I'm hoping it's something that pays off.
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[ Stelle's quiet for a good few moments, not answering immediately. It's only when she speaks up again that it's with a bit more seriousness than usual: ]
I've seen other people's memories before. [ She won't say whose, but she'll offer that up as an earnest thing. ] And getting the Dragon-blessed abilities kind of deals with some similar stuff, too.
[ Memories and the dealing with the truth is unfortunately pretty common in Ellipsa, she's found. And also home, too. ]
... It's not a gamble. Whatever I see is the 'past', after all. What matters more is the present. And the future.
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And what if not all of it is necessarily in the past? I still work for the IPC, Miss Stellaron. Whenever I return home, the jobs you see I've done as part of that file won't necessary be that different to what I'll have to do in the future. { there's a small laugh that follows this, almost like a hum. } But maybe, with the rest of what you see, it'll all. make. sense. You're a smart girl, I'm sure you can join the dots together.
{ a beat, then: } Not that'll change anything knowing that.
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[ It wouldn't be the first, nor would it be the last time that she's seen someone do horrible, awful things. ]
Even so... I'll still believe in you. [ Emphasis on 'you'. ] That's enough, isn't it?
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it helps that she'll only be reading about it, at least, won't see it as a memory. and most of the time for more recent memories it'll most likely depict him putting his life on the line for the ipc than anything else. russian roulette, electric chairs... you know the drill.
but. }
Mmm. Then I'll do my best to not disappoint you... at least with what I can do while my hands are tied.
{ obviously it isn't literal. but when stelle actually reads through the file and sees he would have been sent to the gallows until he made that 'bet' with jade, maybe it'll make a lot more sense as to what he means when he says this now. }
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Make sure to not disappoint yourself, too.
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Mm, well, I'd have to have expectations for that to happen, wouldn't I?
{ it's a little more telling than he'd normally say but they're having a... moment of sorts. some honesty. she deserves some honesty. }
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Maybe one day. This place does seem to give that kind of opportunity, but it'd be better to remember it won't last.
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{ it's not even pessimistic, it's realistic... }
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When did you want to collect them?